When The Young Go First (FAST)!
By Majid Said Nasser Al Suleimany - (published on the newspaper on May 28, 08)
My son Fahad was visibly upset and in a very foul and bad mood. I just looked at him and simply said nothing. I knew it was going to come next what was eating him, or as the ‘what the beef was all about’ the slang went! It runs in the family, or as they say Like Father Like Son. The S Family is well known not to mince their words from historical times and perspectives – and nothing has changed ever since – even to now. They call a spade as a spade, and in no other words or terms. Would it change? I do not think so. I have seen granddaughter Y ‘expressing herself clearly’ – far more than a normal 2 year old would. One can well summarise and can be excused to say that the S family will never change, and there is more troubled waters ahead for them in this today’s world and life, when lying, acting, deception, double dealings, hypocrisies, stab in the back and bull shitting are the norm and accepted practice. Especially in the Offices, where we are supposed to go Halaal (Kosher) in all we do in earning a honest and sincere living, and not cause troubles, miseries and havoc to others.
If you ask my frank opinion, despite all things that have happened to us in the family, and some of them not that good, some very bad too - I would still prefer us to remain the same and not to change for the worse. I still remember that old local boss saying to one friend of mine (who took all the ‘pleasure’ to pass it on to me) – This S Family. They have long tongues (a metaphor!) of more than a metre long. They are trouble, and spell trouble. I do not know where they get this courage, guts and braveness from? I wanted to reply him – it comes from within us, in our blood, and in our system. At all times and at different places, we have always stridden and stood against oppression, discrimination and aggression in all sides and in all aspects – even if in the end we ended as the losers, but we would not go against our beliefs and our conscience. We cannot start to act role now, if we had never done it before! That is us, take us as we are or leave us alone to our own fate and destiny in life!
Anyway, my son said finally what was eating him. A good friend of his that they had been in school together at one time or other had died that morning, and he had wanted to go to the funeral but his boss would not hear of it, because he could not find a replacement at short notice to take his place at the counter at the Telecoms Company place. His boss had told him – you are not family to make an exception to the rule. You are just a friend! Only a friend, the son screamed? He is not only a friend, he is like a brother to me. Feeling like a brother is not the same as being blood brother, the boss chipped in. Unless you get someone who had just finished his shift, or one who agrees to swap, I am afraid you have to report to duty. You can go afterwards to offer your condolences at the Mosque, but for now it is duty for you. Then the old Pro of a Father chipped in – Sorry son, your boss is right. Duty is duty, first and paramount. But coolly chipped in – try to get someone to go in your place, the idea is good though!
I remember when my elder brother had died. My elder Mother had cried in despair and in vain – why my Son God? Why not me? I have lived long enough, spare my son God? God Does not want or need to be told, God Knows what He is doing. It is always painful and hurtful when parents bury their children first, and they are left behind to pick up the pieces, and try as best as they can to go normal and routine in their lives, especially if in life they have high profile positions that are already taxing and imposing in one’s life to continue to perform and execute job duties, responsibilities and aspects – especially that part of trying to show friendliness and a pleasant personality and outlook – when all inside you is breaking into pieces and smithereens, and to put up a brave show and front – and to continue and manage as best as one can before breaking up into pieces before others! To put up a brave front.
Do you notice these things? It is always after death that someone will remember how good or nice person you are. Why not as when you are still living, so at least you can enjoy the compliments? What is the use of saying these things when you are already dead, and you cannot hear or enjoy them anymore? Comments like the patient who had asked to be reminded when it is 12 noon, when actually he had died at the exact time of 12. Or the boy who told his mother a few days before he had died horribly in a car accident – give my things to the poor when I go, please Mum? Or the boy who gave a big amount of money to a charity collection fund for a Cancer person, and got angry because he did not want to be found out that it was him who had given that amount – coming to the Religious point thing that the good thing you do with your right hand, your left hand should not know?
And on my son? He got the time off. Sometimes he frightens me – a big boy but so soft, emotional and sensitive – and his sisters are more stronger and harder than he is. But that is how life is and can be. My son was asking me – what is happening to this world Dad? A young boy goes by a heart attack. I thought that was for peoples like you in your ages of 50 and plus. Why does it hit even us in our 20s? Son, I replied – Those are God’s mysterious ways. A new baby is born and dies after a few days. That is how my sister (and your aunty went). Yet our Grand Father hit 99 and 3 months before he went. Only 9 months to hit 100 (a Centurion!). In the same house too in Tanzania in East Africa.
This article is dedicated to Late Khaldun Salim Al Maskiry – May Allah Grant you paradise in this world and the next – Amin. And Sincere and Genuine Condolences to their parents Colonel Salim (a good friend and a Fan!) and Engineer Nashiaat (I remember your help to my defunct Consultancy!) – I care, and do feel your pain and hurt, when the young go first and we the parents have to bury them. You brought up a good boy, and it is Allah’s wish. Just Remember the Good Times, and Knowing him. Ours is only to accept and acknowledge – Amin. That is all we can do, nothing else.
